When I want something so bad, I barely can get it out of my head. I always think of it all the time. Like few years ago. I was in a mall when I saw a cheap handphone. I didn't know why I wanted to buy that handphone at that moment. But, I tried to forget it and I walked pass by that handphone shop. And I went home.
On my way home, that handphone was always on my head. I thought about it until I got home. Okay then, maybe it was a sign that I should buy it. They say when you want something wait until you get home. If you're already at home and you're still thinking about it that means you really want it. And that happened to me. So, believe it or not, I went back again to the mall and I bought that cheap handphone. It only cost me around IDR 200,000.
When I was in my senior year in high school, I really really wanted to study at University of Indonesia. There is a story behind it (why I wanted so much to study there), but it's not about it. I put my best effort to get there. I studied hard. And all my hardworks were paid off when finally I could make my dream came true.
Ain't I cool? I really persevere when I want something. Oh, wait, does it include wanting an android phone? Errr... I think it does. :D
*Please, don't protest me when I use word "persevere" when I'm talking about my desire on material things. :P
I sold my Blackberry because I was bored with that not-so-smartphone. Besides, I was tempted with android. So, I sold Bing and I saved my money to buy an android phone. Om Galeshka suggested me to buy Samsung W. Thanks to him, since he suggested me Samsung W, I was thinking about it all the time. Seriously. I wanted Samsung W sooooo bad. I really wanted it! But, I couldn't buy it straight away after selling my Blackberry. I didn't have money. Surely IDR 3 millions is a lot of money for a jobless person like me. My plan was got a job and bought Samsung W immediately after getting my first salary. Question is: when will I get a job?
Unfortunately, I couldn't bear that want anymore. I didn't have anymore patience. I said to myself, "Okay, screw it. I don't care if I have to spend all my saving to buy that damn phone!" So, on January 30, 2011 I bought Samsung W. Finally!
I know I am such a compulsive person. On that day, without anymore considering thoughts, I asked my nephew, Haikal, to go with me to Mall Kartini (MoKa). I didn't tell him at first that I wanted to buy a new handphone. I wanted to keep it as a secret. There is no secret in my house, you know... Even walls in my house can't be trusted.
So, I went to MoKa with Haikal. I didn't know what in his mind was. When we're leaving my house, he looked like as usual the way he look. I mean, with his cool face, small eyes, and not much talking how can I guess what he's thinking? Okay, maybe I'm the one who can't read people's face. Or lack of sensitivity to know people's feeling.
Next thing I know while we're in the handphone shop, Haikal looked upset. He put his both arms on the glass table and covered his face. I asked him if he wanted ice cream or drink, he only gave me short answer, "No." I asked him for his opinion about Samsung W, he only said, "Good." Before I dropped him off in his house, I thanked him for accompanying me. His answer was only closing the door car.
Fine. There must be something wrong with him. I could sense it, even though he didn't tell what was going on. And my sense was right. His mother, who also my sister-in-law, told me that Haikal was upset with me because I didn't buy him a Blackberry. I was bewildered. What was my fault?
My sister-in-law said when I asked Haikal to go with me, he thought I was going to buy him a Blackberry like I'd promised him before. So, when his expectation wasn't fulfilled, he got mad at me. He didn't want to talk me. Oh my, my, my...
Well, I did make a promise to Haikal that I would buy him a Blackberry. But, not on the day I bought my Samsung W. I promised him that because his cousins (my other nephew and niece), Fajri and Dewi, were given Blackberrys from their aunt. Clearly not from me, since I don't have money to buy two Blackberrys, but from their aunt from their father's side.
I understand Haikal's feeling. Seeing his cousins have Blackberrys, he must have wanted to have it also. Many his friends at school also have Blackberrys in their hands. I understand what social pressure must feel like. Although he never asks for it, I can tell that he wants Blackberry, too. So that's why I made that promise.
But still I don't understand why he got mad at me because I bought my own handphone. Does he know that my saving quickly dropped its number after buying my Samsung W? Maybe he thought I should have bought him Blackberry first before I bought my handphone. I have promised him after all... Well, maybe he's right that I should keep my promise before I keep my personal interest.
Well, he doesn't need to worry. I'm a person with her words. I will keep my promise. Just be patient, okay, Haikal? But, if you keep your attitude this way, it'll only make me break my promise to you.